英語小笑話
一.A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”
二.Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
三.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門開。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
1. 堅持不懈，從不間斷。每天至少看 10-15 分鐘的英語，早晨和晚上是學英語的最好時間。
(Never give up, keep working on. Speak English at least 10-15 minutes every day. The best time to learn English is in the morning and the evening.)
2.方法要靈活多樣。一種方式學厭了，可以變換其他的方式，以便學而不厭。
(Different kinds of ways to learn English. One way is boring, you can use other ways, so that you won't feel bored.)
3.上下相連，從不孤立。記憶英語要結合上下文，不要孤立的記單詞和短語，要把握句中的用法。
(Connect up to down, don't make it alone. According to the passage, remember the words and phrases, try to graspe the meanings of the words. )
4.熟記常用語，確保準確無誤。把常用的交際用語背熟，俗能生巧。
(Remember useful expressions, and make sure it's right. Practice makes perfect.)
5.盡量用第一人稱來記習慣用語和句型，以便記憶牢固。
(Try to Remember idioms and setences with the first calling, make sure to remember deeply.)
6.多方位多角度來學英語。要經常讀報、聽廣播、看外語電影、聽外語講座、讀課本和別人交談等方式來學英語。
(Learn English in different ways. Read newspapers, listen to the radio , watch English movies, listen to English lectures, read textbooks and talk with each other ect.)
7.敢于開口說英語，不要怕犯錯誤。人人都會犯錯，這是在所難免的，只要敢說，就一定能學好。
(Speak English as much as possible, don't be afraid of making mistakes. Everyone can make mistakes, it is possible. Try your best to learn it well.)
8.要創設情景，加強交際訓練。語言的運用離不開場景的強化訓練，只有交際，才能學好。
(Set up situation, strength comunacation practice. Language can't leave away from the situation, you'd better do more practising and you can learn it well.)