經典英文笑話大全
經典英文笑話大全一：
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官問我們這群修補陪審員是否有人應當免權。一個人舉起了手。"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點了點頭。"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."
“你將被允許加入陪審團，”法官宣布。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”
經典英文笑話大全二：
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時，驚奇地發現了六個接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
"What's in here?" he asked.
“里面裝的是什么?”他問道。
"Dirt," the driver replied.
“土。”司機回答。
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實，口袋里除了土以外，別無他特。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過了。
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
一周后，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
“這次袋子里裝的是什么?”他問道。
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
“土，又運了一些土。”那人回答。
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
哨兵不相信，對那些袋子又進行了檢查，結果發現，除了土以外，仍舊一無所獲。
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.
同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續了六個月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當了酒吧侍者。
Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
有天夜里，那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個忙，今晚的酒就歸我請客。你能不能告訴我，那段時間你到底在走私什么東西?”
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。”
經典英文笑話大全三：
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
那天是圣誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
“采購圣誕節物品過早。”被告答。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。
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