笑得肚子痛得英語小笑話
What are the Two Words?
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?
Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?
一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?
噢，當然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個詞?
奇猜異想
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我們的物理教授千方百計引導我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進入池子，發現水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發現十分激動，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什么意思。
一個學生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”
聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”
妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
I Don't Need to Steal Any More
The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”
一家大百貨店的老板在查帳中發現，他最信任的雇員從公司偷走了一百多萬美元。“我不要丑聞。”老板說。“我只要開除你。”那個雇員回答說：“不錯，我是偷了你公司相當一大筆錢。現在我有游艇、一座鄉村別墅、珠寶，以及你能想到的.一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了，你為什么要再雇個人來，讓他從頭做起呢?”
合理的憂傷
On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.
馬修·普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對哭啼， 他們都表達著憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說， “可產生同樣結果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會死; 他老婆，怕他會活。”
Compare other things?比一下其他?
Compare other things?比一下其他?
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。
媽媽：你只關心這個嗎?不會比一下其它東西?
兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。
【笑得肚子痛得英語小笑話】相關文章：
笑破肚子短句小笑話06-09
笑破肚子經典小笑話06-01
笑破肚子精選小笑話11-22
英語笑話笑破肚子11-08
笑破肚子英語笑話11-07
趣事精彩小笑話笑破肚子05-31
笑破肚子小笑話逗趣大全05-11
小笑話幽默大全笑破肚子11-23
笑翻肚子精彩小笑話11-22
小笑話搞笑精選笑破肚子11-22