爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話短篇

時(shí)間：2020-10-23 15:26:22 英語(yǔ)笑話我要投稿

精選爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話短篇

　　除了音樂(lè)All Except the Music

精選爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話短篇

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車(chē)的時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。”

　　遲到

　　My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指頭老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?凱溫：對(duì)不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個(gè)手指頭。老師：怎么沒(méi)有扎繃帶呀?凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

　　At a Department Store 在百貨商店里

　　A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

　　一個(gè)結(jié)巴壯漢走進(jìn)一家百貨公司問(wèn)柜員：“男……男裝部在……在哪兒?”

　　The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

　　柜臺(tái)后的柜員看著他不搭話。

　　The man repeats himself, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

　　那男人又重復(fù)道：“男裝……裝部在……在哪兒?”柜員還是不理他。

　　The guy asks several more times, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

　　壯漢問(wèn)了好幾遍柜員依舊如故。最后，壯漢氣沖沖地走了。

　　The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s questions?”

　　排在后面的顧客問(wèn)那個(gè)柜員：“你怎么不答人家話呀?”

　　The clerk answers, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!”

　　柜員說(shuō)：“你……你覺(jué)著我……我想找打……打是吧!?”

　　冰箱里的儲(chǔ)蓄罐

　　My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.

　　我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿里“借錢(qián)”，她哥哥對(duì)此事感到很憤怒。

　　One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.

　　一天，表妹四處尋找，最后竟然在冰箱里發(fā)現(xiàn)了撲滿。

　　Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."

　　撲滿里有張紙條：“親愛(ài)的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產(chǎn)現(xiàn)在已被凍結(jié)。”

　　I Understand Him我懂他的話

　　While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

　　"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

　　"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly .　A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

　　"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.

　　在飯店吃飯的時(shí)候，我申斥我4歲的兒子，因?yàn)樗麧M嘴食物在說(shuō)話。“喔、呢”，我聽(tīng)到的就是這些。 “祖，”我責(zé)備道，“沒(méi)人明白你在說(shuō)什么。” “他說(shuō)他要一些番茄醬，”我丈夫平靜地說(shuō)。坐在旁邊的一位婦女靠過(guò)來(lái)問(wèn)道：“你究竟如何明白他的`話的呢?” “我是牙醫(yī)。”我丈夫解釋道。

　　天氣怎么樣

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。老師：錯(cuò)了。馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運(yùn)來(lái)的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

　　Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說(shuō)：“你的英語(yǔ)最近學(xué)的怎么樣?”“很好，我過(guò)去不懂英國(guó)人說(shuō)話，可現(xiàn)在是英國(guó)人不懂我的話了。”

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