英語笑話大全笑你的肚子
笑話來源于生活，卻又可以讓我們的生多些歡樂、開心，現在，一起來開心爆笑下。
英語笑話大全笑你的肚子【1】
1、Would you like to be the sun in my life?
A: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
你想成為我生命中的太陽嗎?
B: Aww, Yes!
哇哦!當然想。
A: Very well, then. Stay 99558876 miles away from me.
很好，那么趕緊到距離我99558876里遠的地方吧。
2、How much do you love me?
A: How much do you love me?
你有多么喜歡我?
B: As many as the stars in the sky.
和天上的星星一樣多。
A: Good! ... Wait! It's daytime now...
太好了...等等，現在是白天啊!
B: There's no stars in the sky in the daytime.
沒錯，白天的天空上沒有星星。
英語笑話大全笑你的肚子【2】
1 Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”
2 Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴 (2) nest n.窩;巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓勵 (5) resemble v. 相似;類似 .鳥窩與頭發 我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。 “是什么鳥呢?”我姐姐問她。 “我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”那孩子回答說。 “那么，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道。 “哦，老師，就像你的頭發一樣。”
3 I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。 “是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么?” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。
4 Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧?
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因為snail(蝸牛)的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說呢?
英語笑話大全笑你的'肚子【3】
Warning
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call
him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?" 提醒
我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學的新生，開學幾個星期之后，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧?”我取笑他。 “開什么玩笑?“，他回答說，“要不我憑什么費神打掃?”
Ground Rules
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running." 基本原則
位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對一個新生班級講解他的基本原則時，他說：“我知道我的
講課可能經常會枯燥乏味，了無生趣，所以如果你們在上課時看表我并不介意。不過我堅決反對你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”
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