搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語
會講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們。現在小編也來當笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語，一起來笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語一：Contented Married Life
令人滿意的婚姻生活
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
一個男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那個人回答說：“她決定我申請什么工作，我們住什么房子，買什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問題。”
搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語二：
A burglar(竊賊) breaks into a house. He sees a CDplayer that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears avoice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around withhis flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?".He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once againhe hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".
摩西和耶穌(雙語)
一個竊賊潛入一戶人家。他看到一個喜歡的CD機,他趕緊拿了。就在這個時候他聽到有人說:“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來看去,嘀咕著:“到底是什么人在說話?”這時,他看到桌子上有些錢,他又拿了。那聲音又來了:“耶穌正在看著你。”
搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語三：
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的.就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
搞笑英語笑話大全帶漢語四：
on christmas eve santa claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000nt bill lying on the floor. which one of them do you think picked it up?
answer: santa of course! why? because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣誕節前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?
答案：當然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因為大家都知道另外兩者并不存在。
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