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愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話
在日常學(xué)習(xí)、工作和生活中，大家對(duì)笑話都再熟悉不過(guò)了吧，下面是小編為大家整理的愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。
愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話一：
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan。
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, Betty Sue was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away。
Three days later hes reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan。
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)道：“這是為什么?”她說(shuō)：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫(xiě)有‘Betty Sue’的紙條。”他說(shuō)：“哎呀，親愛(ài)的，‘Betty Sue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。”她聳了聳肩，走了。 三天后他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。他問(wèn)：“這又是為什么?”她答道：“你的馬打電話來(lái)了。”
愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話二：
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital。
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫(yī)生懂得多
一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車(chē)撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”
聽(tīng)到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)死，我還活著。”
妻子說(shuō)：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多。”
愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話三：
In the traffic court of a large midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times."
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開(kāi)車(chē)闖紅燈被開(kāi)了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫(xiě)‘我開(kāi)車(chē)闖了紅燈’500遍。”
On the way home one night, I spotted some freshcut roses outside a florists shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman。
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來(lái)的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進(jìn)店里，一個(gè)年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個(gè)招呼。
"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked。
“先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?”她問(wèn)道。
"Yes," I said。
“是的，”我說(shuō)。
"For her birthday?" she asked。
“她的生日?”她問(wèn)。
"No," I replied。
“不是，”我回答。
"For your anniversary?"
“你們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日?”
"No," I said again。
“不是，”我又答道。
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."
當(dāng)我將找回的錢(qián)裝進(jìn)口袋，朝門(mén)口走去時(shí)，那年輕的女人沖我喊道：“希望她能原諒你。”
Notes:
spot 認(rèn)出，發(fā)現(xiàn)
freshcut 鮮切花
florist 種花人
愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話四：
1、why are people tired on april fools day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞?)
答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因?yàn)樗麄儎傔^(guò)了長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的三月。march 三月;行軍)
2、what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)
答：when its raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3、when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時(shí)候不愿跟隨主人?)
答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場(chǎng)時(shí)。flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場(chǎng) )
4、what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個(gè)問(wèn)題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”?)
答：are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)
5、what tree is always very sad? (那種樹(shù)總是很傷心?)
答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹(shù))
6、when can you get water with a net? (什么時(shí)候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時(shí))
7、why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒(méi)完沒(méi)了地吃?
答：hes making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。
8、whats the longest word in the world?世界上最長(zhǎng)的單詞是什么? 答：smiles. because theres a mile between the letter s.微笑。因?yàn)閮蓚�(gè)字母s中間隔了一里。
9、what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問(wèn)題你只能回答“yes”?
答："what does yes spell?" (當(dāng)別人問(wèn)你)“yes”怎么拼?
10、where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時(shí)候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中
愚人節(jié)精彩英語(yǔ)笑話五：
1、What the day is it today?
Today is April foolsday.
Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you dont believe me please pick up the calendar.
Oh!it is really April foolsday.
Haha!you were cheated!
今天是星期幾？
今天是四月愚人節(jié)。
哦！你錯(cuò)了，今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我，請(qǐng)拿起日歷。
哦！這真的是四月愚人節(jié)。
哈哈！你被騙了！
2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
最好的祝愿，我相信你的英語(yǔ)會(huì)越來(lái)越好！
3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! Im still blind, my wish didnt come true!". The mom answered, "I know April Fools!"
一個(gè)雙目失明的小男孩正被媽媽抱上床。媽媽說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在，比利，今晚和明天都要好好祈禱，你的愿望會(huì)實(shí)現(xiàn)的！”比利說(shuō)：“好的，媽媽，”然后去睡覺(jué)。第二天早上，比利醒來(lái)尖叫著：“媽咪！”！我還是瞎了眼，我的愿望沒(méi)有實(shí)現(xiàn)！媽媽回答說(shuō)：“我知道——四月傻瓜！”
4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so Ill be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.
妻子對(duì)丈夫（整天看報(bào)紙）說(shuō)：我希望我是一份報(bào)紙，所以我整天都在你手里。
丈夫：我也希望如此，這樣我就可以每天換你了。
5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don t know son. I m still paying!!
一個(gè)小男孩問(wèn)他的父親：爸爸，結(jié)婚要花多少錢(qián)？父親回答說(shuō)：我不知道兒子。我還在付錢(qián)！！
6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my inlaws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you.
半夜，父親看到他已婚的兒子離家出走了…他問(wèn)他：你在干什么？
兒子回答：爸爸，我受夠了我的生活！我的新婚生活不太順利，我妻子和我媽媽一直在打架！我得為我的親家付賬，我討厭這種生活！！！我想遠(yuǎn)離這里，我想品味生活中的每一種樂(lè)趣，我想享受生活的樂(lè)趣！！！
父親說(shuō)：等等！我和你一起去。
7、A woman goes to England to attend a 2week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
一個(gè)女人去英國(guó)參加一個(gè)為期兩周的公司培訓(xùn)會(huì)議。她丈夫開(kāi)車(chē)送她去機(jī)場(chǎng)，祝她旅途愉快。
妻子回答：謝謝你，親愛(ài)的，你要我給你拿什么？
丈夫笑著說(shuō)：一個(gè)英國(guó)女孩！！！
那女人默不作聲地離開(kāi)了。兩個(gè)星期后，他在機(jī)場(chǎng)接她，問(wèn)道：親愛(ài)的，旅途怎么樣？
妻子：很好，謝謝。
丈夫：我的禮物怎么了？
妻子：哪一件禮物？
丈夫：我要的是那個(gè)英國(guó)女孩？
妻子：哦，那！好吧，我盡力了，現(xiàn)在我們得等幾個(gè)月看看是不是女孩！！！
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