2016幽默英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子簡短
愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，那么你喜歡笑么?這里小編收集整理了好些搞笑的笑話，一起來看看吧!說不定能點中你的笑血哦!
1
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老師: 湯姆，“男人”這個詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么?Tom: Men.湯姆:男人們。Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老師: 答得好。那“孩子”的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢?Tom : Twins.
湯姆: 雙胞胎。
2
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.小彼得從操場回到家時，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
顯然他剛與人惡斗了一番，而且打輸了。父親問兒子發(fā)生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說，我向拉里挑起決斗，而且我讓他挑選武器。”"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
“嗯，”父親說，“這看上去很公平!”"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
“我知道，但我沒想到他選擇了他姐姐!”
3
A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
一個人跑到醫(yī)生那里，說：“醫(yī)生，我碰哪兒，哪兒疼。”
The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"
醫(yī)生問，“什么意思?”
The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."
那個人說：“我摸我的肩膀的時候，真的很疼。摸膝蓋的'時候——哎呀!摸我的前額，真的是鉆心的疼。”
The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
醫(yī)生說：“我知道是什么問題了——你的手指受傷了。”
4
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
一天，小女孩從學校回到家里，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學校里我因為一件我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?
The little girl replied, "My homework."
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業(yè)。
5
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
一天，教授正在給學生們監(jiān)考。他發(fā)下試卷，然后回到講臺前等待。
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
考試結(jié)束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發(fā)現(xiàn)一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：“一分一塊錢。”
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
第二堂課，教授把試卷都發(fā)回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。
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