爆笑笑話故事

時(shí)間：2020-10-13 12:43:26 英語(yǔ)笑話我要投稿

2016爆笑笑話故事

　　當(dāng)聽(tīng)別人說(shuō)笑話的時(shí)候覺(jué)得不大好笑，還會(huì)覺(jué)得冷很冷，可是自己看的時(shí)候，卻笑到不行，你有這樣的經(jīng)歷么?以下的x，希望能讓你歡樂(lè)笑不停。

2016爆笑笑話故事

　　2016爆笑笑話故事一：The Mean Man's Party

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”

　　2016爆笑笑話故事二：Clarinet

　　When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. Acellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consignedto the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.

　　He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, "May I bring my clarinet on board?" Scanning her list, she replied, "Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip," and, smiling, waved him on.

　　單簧管

　　我在一個(gè)交響樂(lè)團(tuán)演奏時(shí)，我們樂(lè)團(tuán)與一家大航空公司達(dá)成協(xié)議，哪些樂(lè)器可以帶上飛機(jī)，哪些樂(lè)器要作為行李托運(yùn)。一個(gè)大提琴手驚愕地發(fā)現(xiàn)他那精致、昂貴的木質(zhì)樂(lè)器竟要托運(yùn)，經(jīng)受行李艙內(nèi)的低溫以及野蠻的裝缷。

　　他干凈利落地解決了這個(gè)問(wèn)題。他手里拿著大提琴，走到門口的空中小姐跟前，問(wèn)道：“我可以將我單簧管帶上飛機(jī)嗎?”她檢視了一下單子，答道，“單簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。”然后微笑著揮手讓他進(jìn)去了。

　　2016爆笑笑話故事三：The Same Duties

　　A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."

　　Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."

　　相同的職責(zé)

　　一個(gè)退休的四星級(jí)將軍在曼哈頓的一個(gè)酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務(wù)兵，勤務(wù)兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個(gè)晚上的`時(shí)間來(lái)說(shuō)服他回來(lái)做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責(zé)與在軍隊(duì)時(shí)完全一樣，”將軍說(shuō)，“這沒(méi)什么，你很快就會(huì)再次理解它的。”

　　第二天早晨八點(diǎn)鐘時(shí)，前勤務(wù)兵迅速地進(jìn)到前將軍的臥室，拉開(kāi)窗簾，輕輕地?fù)u了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側(cè)，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說(shuō)道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”

　　2016爆笑笑話故事四：Talking clock

　　會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?”他的一個(gè)朋友問(wèn)他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘”，學(xué)生回答。“這鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問(wèn)。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽(tīng)到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡!現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了!”

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