大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
會講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們。現在小編也來當笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子，一起來笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子1
True Dedication
好投入啊!
Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried.
福特斯克太太越來越擔心，
Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn't home.
因為她先生一早出去打高爾夫球，到下午三四點都還沒回家，
Evening came and Mr.Fortesque still hadn't returned.
甚至到傍晚也還不見人影。
The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband's car pulling into the drive way,
福特斯克太太正要打電話報警就聽到她先生開車回來了。
Rushing outside, she told her husband, "Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?"
她沖出門外，向她先生說道："親愛的，我一整天都在擔心你，是什么事把你耽擱了?"
"Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole."
“查理在第四洞時心臟病發作。”
"Oh, my goodness, that's terrible!"
“喔，天哪，真可怕!”
"You're telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie . . . . "
“那還用你說嗎!-整天我都一邊打球，一邊拉查理，一會兒打球，一會兒拖查理，……
大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子2
Make a Wish
許個愿吧!
Every morning on his way to work, a business man passed a house where he saw a woman beating her looy on the head with a loaf of bread.
每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都會經過一戶人家，他總是看見一個女人用一條面包打她兒子的頭部。
But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.
但今天卻比較特別，他發現她正用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他的頭。
Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answere .
他忍不住好奇，便按了那戶人家的門鈴。女人聽了鈴聲，出來開門。
"Madam, I couldn't help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread. . . "
“這位太太，每天經過這里我都忍不住會注意到你用一條面包打你兒子……”
"That's true ."
"那倒是不假……"
"And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. ',
"可是今天我卻看見你用一塊巧克力蛋糕打他。"
“Well, today's his birthday. ”
“今天是他生日嘛。”
大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子3
A Precocious Child
一個早熟的小孩
When the door-to-door salesman rang the doorbell of the suburban home,
當挨家挨戶兜售東西的推銷員按了一幢郊區房子的門鈴后，
he was taken a back when a 10-year-old boy opened the door smoking a big cigar.
他嚇了一跳，開門的竟是一位嘴里叼著一根大雪茄的十歲男孩。
The salesman could only stammer out, "Er, is your mother at home?"
推銷員結結巴巴地問道，“哦，你媽媽在家嗎?”
Answered the boy, "What do you think?"
小男孩回答說，"你認為呢?"
大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子4
A Remarkable Talent
一位了不起的天才
"Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.
“你相信我可以由鋼琴知道現在幾點鐘嗎?’一位老兄向他的朋友問道。
"You're kidding," replied his companion dubiously.
“別開玩笑了!”他的`朋友懷疑地回答。
"I'll show you," said the first man as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.
“那我試給你看，”說著那位老兄就坐在鋼琴前開始彈起一首進行曲。
Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting,
幾秒鐘后墻壁傳來捶打聲，一個憤怒的聲音叫道：
"Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it,s three o’clock in the morning?"
“嘿!你他媽的，你知不知道現在是凌晨三點鐘?”
大笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子5
City Suckers
城里來的傻瓜
Two city folk were on a drive in the country, but got completely lost.
兩個城市里的老兄在一條鄉間小道上開車迷了路，
Pulling over next to an old farmer, they asked him if he knew the way back to the city.
他們把車停靠一位老農夫旁邊，問他知不知道回城里的路。
"Nope. Can't say that I do," replied the old hayseed.
“不，我不知道，”老農夫答道。
"Well, can you tell us how to get back to the main highway?"
“那你知道回到主要公路要怎么走嗎?’
"Nope. Don't know that, either. "
“不，我也不知道。”
"Well, you sure don't know much, do you?"
"喔，你好像不太熟悉這里的路況，是嗎?"
" Could be. . . but I ain't lost, neither."
“可以這么說，……可是我也不會迷路。”
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