搞笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)集錦
幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說(shuō)笑話(huà)，還要懂得他人說(shuō)的笑話(huà)，來(lái)測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!
搞笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇一：Bishop Creighton(克萊頓主教)
Creighton was going along a West End square when hesaw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
“Can't you reach up so high?”queried the Bishop kindly.
“No， sir，” said the small youngster.
“Well， then， let me help you，” and the Bishop mountedthe three steps and gave a splendid rattat.
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth.“Come on，” he yelled，“we must boaf run nar.”
當(dāng)克萊頓主教沿著倫敦西區(qū)的一個(gè)廣場(chǎng)走著的時(shí)候，他 看見(jiàn)一個(gè)小家伙正試圖抓住一所大房子的門(mén)環(huán)。
“你是不是夠不到這么高的`地方呢?”主教好意地問(wèn)。
“是的，先生。”那小孩說(shuō)。
“那好，讓我來(lái)幫你。”主教登上那三級(jí)臺(tái)階，在門(mén)上重重扣了幾下。
那個(gè)小男孩急忙給教士遞上一個(gè)眼色。“快跑，”他喊著：“我們倆都得跑。”
搞笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇二：Post Haste
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door. Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
搞笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇三：Day after Day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him. After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.
搞笑英語(yǔ)幽默笑話(huà)篇四：Horne Tooke(霍恩·圖克)
George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit， Horne Tooke，whether he could play cards.
“Your Majesty，” replied Tooke，“ I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from aKnave.”
喬治三世問(wèn)一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克，會(huì)不會(huì)玩紙牌。
“陛下，”圖克回答說(shuō)：“在玩紙牌方面，我只不過(guò)是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國(guó)王和無(wú)賴(lài)。”
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